well it has been a loooong time...

ok guys. this one is going to be short, even though i have so much to say and it's been so long.

first, praise God from whom all blessings flow. he has been providing funds in such small amounts and it has added up. i was so worried i couldn't sleep. but jesus says that that is not how i am to be. God is so faithful. before i applies to the GUT and study abroad, He promised the funds. ergo:

the donations went from $800 to $2,279 in less than a month.

work hard. be faithful. DO NOT WORRY. if it does not come through, trust the Lord. if it does come through, trust the Lord. always, in everything, trust the Lord.

India is going to be really intense. I am beginning to feel it in my bones... I had a dream a couple of weeks ago about someone in my family. it was so intense. they were locked in a cage by their husband who only used them. i couldn't handle it. i wanted to trade places with them but they wouldn't let me. i woke up in such a daze from it. i told my friend linda about the dream. it felt like God wanted me to feel the pain of what it feels like to see injustice. we prayed so hard about it.

humans can turn into such crazy and scary machines. i need to trust God so much in faith if such injustices are going to be so apparent. please, everyone, pray for the women and men of Kolkata. if it is on your heart, please pray for those who are sex-trafficked throughout the world. the Lord is great and awesome. He loves justice, mercy and love.

please remember: to fear the Lord is to hate evil.(prov 8:13)

God is so essential to my life. to my being. to my world here and my world in kolkata and senegal. He will be my protection and my light. Please pray for protection and discretion. wisdom and discernment. but also love and understanding. decisive action and prudence. please, for all of my teammates.

i have been learning about mother teresa too! she was so incredible! seriously, if you can, check out her biography. and the amazing thing is, she did it all for jesus. all of it. please pray for this mindset for us all.

i love my family. they have supported me so much. they have taught me to work hard for what i want. they taught me that i must be passionate, even if the people around me do not understand why i want to go to india. if it is my dream, it is worthy of attainment.

much love to everyone who has donated. may the Lord be praised and glorified through your donations! it has come from the most unlikely places. i will write more late. for now i have to work on scholarships, work, help my family, clean my room, and hang out with the Lord.

much love!

mary

Playing Dress up

Gearing up for India is more intense than I thought it would be.

In reality, I didn't have too many expectations for it. I was trying to hold back from the expectations and be more patient and see where God was moving.

And He has been moving in a lot of ways. Small group leading this year has been incredible, and God has shown me his boundless joy through it. Fund-raising has been teaching me dependency on God, having to trust that He will move people's hearts to give. His faithfulness has shown in incredible ways through preparation in prayer (TANGENT! at STIM training, i.e. student training in missions, God was completely in a prayer with me and another student from Mills college. Her and I were praying for God's guidance as we dealt with our coping mechanisms. For me, I hide away, and for her, she jokes it off. We surrendered them to God and he was totally preparing us. ANYWAY!). And His love for me, and all His children, has shown up in his comfort that He is with me.

So. Playing dress up.

Shannon, one of the staff members for Pacific Christian Fellowship, had some Indian suits from her previous trips to the country (study abroad and GUT). She called me the other day to see if I wanted to borrow them.

DUDE! It was so fun wearing the colorful scarves and Indian dresses! The fact that I was leaving really started to set in for me as I tried the clothes on. For those who do not know, I am going on a Global Urban Trek (hence, GUT). I will be with about 20 other college students called by the Lord to serve the poor in urban slums around the world. We will be stripped of the extra baggage we bring with us and placed to work alongside the poor in organizations like Mother Teresa's Home for the Sick and Dying. We will work with them for four weeks, having a week of orientation and a week of debrief. Living with 20 other people in an apartment will be challenging, smelling the city of Kolkata will be stimulating, seeing the poverty will be overwhelming. It will take my heart seeking God's as He walks with me and my teammates through the city to see his kingdom amongst the injustice.

"Wow Jesus". These are the things I will be wearing for six weeks. I felt stunned, excited, and under-prepared. I asked Shannon how I should pray, and what I should pray for. For those out there who are praying for me in this, THANK YOU so much. Here is what Shannon told me:

• Pray for boldness in:
• Talking to the people of Kolkata. We will be looking to be incarnationally ministering to them, like reaching out, talking with them. This will take a lot of boldness considering the cultural differences, languages differences, status differences, etc. Pray that we can meet them where they are, and they us. That we could form deep and God-pleasing relationships with the people there. 

• Pray for discernment when we see the injustices there. That we would not become too overwhelmed, nor our hearts be closed when we see it, but that our reactions to them would be glorifying to God. 
• For protection in all ways, physical, spiritual, mentally, culturally, etc.
• Pray for the city of Kolkata. There is a lot of spiritual warfare in the city, with its goddess being Kali, the goddess of death and destruction, for whom the city is named after. Pray for the spiritual, as well as physical, poverty there.
• Pray for our team dynamics. It will be challenging living together, and I am sure conflicts will arise. Please pray against such things, for boldness and love when they come up, and for deep, meaningful relationships to form. 
• Pray for focus while we are there. That we could truly see the city through kingdom eyes.

That's what I have so far. Shannon gave me a lot more advice, which I am so thankful for. The suits she gave me were beautiful, and are only making it that much more real.

May we continue to press onward guys, with perseverance and assurance that the Lord is with us always.

Much love to all!

Mary

Fund-raising and its wonders...

Today is a little overwhelming, but hopeful. It is 1:21 a.m. I've got my hot tea, my missions and study abroad budgets, some salted peanuts, and a pile of support letters to send out. It's pretty incredible looking at the fish and loaves that I am offering the LORD, praying and depending on him for them to multiply.

A couple of months ago I was pacing in the lounge downstairs, absolutely freaked out by the possibility of trusting the LORD with my money, considering I had none to begin with. Once I started to hyperventilate, I sat myself down and prayed about the prospects before me. I had to surrender my doubts and fears to God, asking Him point-blank if this was really something He was calling me to. That night, God assured me that my trips were going to be paid; if I was faithful and diligent on my part, He would be on His.

Two months later, I am back here. With a slightly lighter pain in my chest, less anxiety, and oodles of excitement.

For those who are beginning to pray for me, I want to tell you how thankful I am for your support. Please begin to pray about finances, my heart when asking for support, and the hearts of the givers.

More prayer requests and tales will follow :D

Much love to all.

Miss Mary